Day 2 and feeling pretty normal...whatever that is

Well its been over 36 hours since my last escapade that led me from my usual method of using by shoving it up my nose to crossing that line and injecting for the first time. I will admit that it was the BEST high ive ever had and honestly havnt been able to stop thinking about it BUT I have succeeded in not using since that last time. Now I cant say its all my own determination I did have a half a suboxin that I ended up breaking down at about midnight last night and took a half of the half, some sleeping meds and passed out and had a pretty good nights sleep too. Got almost 12 hours of sleep which is more then I have been getting the last few weeks. Its almost 4 and I have yet to take the last half of the suboxin I have because I am trying to hold off until I start to feel the urge to use again. Which even tho I have thought about the other night and wished I had some I havent really had any urges to use and thats pretty good for me these days. I just need to stop. I am almost 30 years old and there are so many more things in life I want and need and I am not going to get there on the path I have been on. Now can I say Ill never do it again?? Probably not. But for now I am going to try to just go one day or rather 12 hours at a time. I must admit not having the funds we normally have has been a big help as well. I am ratehr sure if I had the cash available to me that I normally would have had my hubby not of lost his job I would probably not be this gung ho but being broke and not wanting to borrow any money from anyone or sell anything because well I have never had to sell my stuff before and dont intend to start now hs helped keep my ass where it belongs, at home. I am sure my guy would throw me a front bcz he always has but that usually comes with a price and I dont wannapay that price anymore. This is a short post today but felt I shoudl at least post about when I am doing well not just when I am fucking up left and right. I am now going to clean my house and prepare dinner and have a good night hopefully with my family. This is what I am yerning for so bad.Normal life. Whatever that is....